KTtheKCbride's Xanga

Redemption

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 15:35:45 GMT

...or at least, an attempt.

Behold, the result of another attempt at "turtle cake", this one born on Wednesday night:

It still isn't really pretty, but I'm calling it "good enough."

I'm also calling it "really fucking delicious".

I'm also also calling it "not a craft fail or cake wreck. This time."

I'm also also also calling it "holy hell homemade caramel!"

If you can look past the yellow, 10:00pm light and the messy kitchen, I think you'll agree that this is an average-looking (average! woohoo!) cake which - you'll just have to trust me on this - tastes absolutely exquisite.

I did pretty much everything differently this time, and with great success.

~~~

Last time, I used my favorite chocolate cake recipe, the Johnson family recipe. It was too soft; it couldn't stand up, structurally, to the toppings.

This time, I used the Devil's Food cake recipe from my Betty Crocker cookbook. Usually when I make that cake I substitute 2 1/2c cake flour for the 2 1/4c all-purpose flour called for, but this time I actually wanted the cake to have a bit more density to it so I stuck with the all-purpose flour. I wasn't worried about the cake losing moisture because I knew the caramel would more than provide.

~~~

Last time, I made a caramel syrup by melting down store-bought caramels with butter and sweetened condensed milk. It looked good while the syrup was warm, but hardened as it cooled.

This time, I made my own caramel and added 1c whipping cream to form a syrup. It was - is - divine. I want to have this syrup's babies.

~~~

Last time, I stirred the chopped pecans into the caramel.

This time, I just sprinkled them on top (and between the layers). A purely aesthetic difference, but I like it. The pecans are from my grandma, and I picked 'em all myself.

~~~

Last time, I made a horrible, horrible frosting by Paula Deen, which she'd promised would be "fudgy." It wasn't, unless by "fudgy" you mean "sort of gelatinous with an unappealing skin on top".

This time, I made my tried-and-true chocolate ganache. As you can see in the photos, I didn't put the ganache on the cake before serving. I brought it to work in a Pyrex container and told people to add it themselves (I was still worried about the ganache making the caramel slide off. It also showed me who in our office is a real chocoholic

~~~

But even though I'm incredibly happy with my success this time, there are still a few things I'm going to change for next time:

I really want to make this with three 8" rounds instead of 2 9" rounds. It'll be more impressive looking.
My cakes didn't come cleanly out of the pans. This was my own fault; it was late and I was tired and didn't want to wait for them to cool properly. I know this. I knew what would happen. I did it anyway. But I did learn from my mistakes last time, and didn't attempt to put any toppings on the cakes until they were fully cool.
I added the caramel to the cake at the exact right temperature this time - it was completely tepid, without the slightest bit of warmth or coolness. Yet as you can see, it drizzled down the sides of the cake most appealingly. I think I may have put a bit too much on though.
I think I'm going to toast the pecans, for that added little bit of crunch.
I'm going to try drizzling the ganache on top, after it has cooled adequately. The only way to find out if it'll work or not is to give it a shot, right?

Baking is very much a science - you can't play fast and loose with ingredients or proportions or timing - but it's also an art. The Big Mac looked great on paper, but obviously didn't come together well. This second cake was a learning experience, and I think it sent me much further down the road toward my goal. But there's still work to do before I have a turtle cake I'm completely happy with.

Luckily, my father-in-law's birthday is Sunday, so I've got the opportunity to give it another go.

Would anyone be interested in a recipe and/or PW-esque photo tutorial of my Sunday baking adventure?

Isn't it funny...

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 21:18:13 GMT

...how the longer you stay away from a blog, the easier it is NOT to blog, but the worse you feel about it?

And now it's been too long (in my terms, anyway - I can't think of the last time I was away from the blog for an entire week) to just jump back in like nothing happened, so let me say this:

1)If you haven't already discovered Josh Ritter, go listen to all of his music. Now. On repeat. Then fall in love, like I did.

2)I came up with the idea for a brilliant Thanksgiving post, but didn't put it up on Thanksgiving. In fact, it still lives in my head. We'll see if it actually comes out or not...

3)I have some amazingly horrible low-light photos of some amazingly beautiful yarn, but let's just say this: I took full advantage of the Knitorious after-Thanksgiving sale, and it was wonderful yarn gluttony. I gorge myself on yarn and it feels wonderful.

4)Tea is amazing. So is Diet Coke (I had to throw that in somewhere).

5)Just because I want to keep it right up-top. Behold, again, what has now been christened "The Big Mac":

The Big Mac is currently living out its days in our trash bin, 'till next Wednesday where the garbagemen will laugh at it and it will end up in a landfill where the seagulls will laugh at it.

6) "The main obligation is to amuse yourself." - S.J. Perelman. I think Imma have to cross-stitch this and hang it on my craft room wall.

They can't all be winners...

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 14:31:16 GMT

(Please for the love of all that is holy and delicious, do NOT skip the text & scroll directly to the photos. It's so much funnier if you understand where I'm coming from)

Y'all know I'm a good baker. My cheesecakes never crack; my breads always have a lovely brown crust and airy, perfect center; I can bake 96 snickerdoodles in an evening without breaking a sweat.

HOWEVER (there's always a however), nobody's perfect.

Boy-oh-boy, am I ever imperfect.

A co-worker has a birthday is this week. For each co-worker's birthday, I bake him or her their favorite item - now that everyone's gotten a pretty fair idea of my repertoire, I'm getting some special requests. "I love your chocolate chip cookies, Kate." "That coffee cake you brought a few weeks ago was great!" This guy, though, threw me a curveball: "I want a turtle cake!"

So I thought about what that might entail, I looked around online for some ideas and inspiration, and last night I took to the kitchen to create a delicious turtle cake.

My vision: chocolate cake (Johnson family recipe), fudgy chocolate frosting, caramel and pecans drizzled atop. A veritable vision of gooey deliciousness.

It was doomed from the start. My cakes didn't come cleanly out of the pans. The fudgy frosting (Paula Deen's recipe) was a total bust; neither fudgy nor frosting-y. I used the wrong plate (amateur mistake; I should know better!), one that was tapered toward the center rather than flat at the bottom. Just about the only thing that went *right* was the caramel topping (caramels + butter + sweetened condensed milk) with a cup of finely chopped hand-picked pecans from Grandma's property stirred in.

But still I pressed onward, to the point of full assembly. And when it was done I stood back, took a good look at it, and bellowed...

"JEFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

He ran into the room, came to a full stop, and...laughed hysterically. It's just that bad.

Don't believe me? See for yourself (Keepin' it real, yo.):

No, I'm not kidding. I really wish I was. I really, REALLY wish I could say "ah-ha! Just kidding! Here is the real cake!" and unveil a masterpiece of epic proportions. But I can't. That's it.

Shall we have another angle?

Danger! Mudslide ahead! Or, if you squint, Danger! Big Mac ahead!

Despite Jeff's insistence (though his tears of laughter) that I should take it to work anyway, I just can't. I CAN'T. No one deserves this for their birthday. Not my worst enemy, and certainly not a co-worker who I feel neutral-leaning-to-friendly towards.

My in-laws are about to be the proud recipients of the ugliest, delicious-est cake in the history of ugly delicious cakes. Lucky them.

And me? I'm going to try again after Thanksgiving. Think I should tweak things a bit for next time?

I recommend bookmarking this post for the next time you need a good, deep belly laugh. I know I'm sure going to.

PS>This morning I whipped up a batch of chocolate chip muffins with streusel topping and brought those in instead, then showed my co-workers a picture of what I almost brought them. We all laughed heartily, and I cried a bit inside.

Opportunity

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 19:20:54 GMT

I've got so much I'm excited about, that I still can't talk about! But I'll try. Let's see here...

1)I have a BRILLIANT Christmas gift idea for [censored]. The inspiration just appeared one day, as good inspiration always does. I think [censored] will love it. The only thing is that timing will be tricky, but I think I can make it work. I discussed the [censored] with [censored], and he/she suggested that I come up with a unique way to [censored] so that [censored] doesn't suspect anything. I think it'll be awesome; I've just got to make it work!

2)I'm working steadily on another gift for [censored]. Do you ever get yourself so worked up about something, trying to get it exactly perfect, that no matter WHAT you end up doing it seems like a disappointment? That's sort of what I'm facing on [censored]'s gift. I tried so many different things, that now that I've found one which is great, I'm tempted to try again to achieve AWESOME. I'm also trying to resist the urge.

3)I'm really looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. I always love [censored]'s [censored] (oh wait. I don't have to censor that. That'll be "Dad's cooking." ) I'm bringing my homemade honey oat bread, and am hoping that there's lots of turkey left over so I can make white chili, slow-cooker bbq turkey, turkey sandwiches, turkey soup...

4)[Censored]'s, a co-worker, is having a birthday tomorrow. So I'm bringing in a [censored] that should be AWESOME. I may photoblog it tonight, in the piss-poor light. I couldn't find any ideal-looking recipes for it online, so I'm basing it off my tried-and-true [censored] recipe and adding new and creative elements, [censored] and [censored]. It will be delicious, I'm sure.

Oh! But here's one thing I CAN talk about, a test knit which I recently completed.

Rachel contacted me a few weeks ago and asked if I'd be interested in knitting up a sample for her out of a new 50 silk/50 wool blend that she's trying out. So she dyed up a hank and sent it my way, and in just 8 days (would've been less if I weren't such a lazy ass) turned it into Damson:

This was my first time getting to test knit a yarn (The Sideways Spencer Redux I made a couple years back was my first - and still only - test-knitted pattern), and it was a lot of fun! I felt like a yarn pioneer. And, being the talkative and opinionated sort that I am, I really enjoyed getting to offer my feedback on the yarn. I continue to adore Rachel's dyeing skills; the semisolid cool teal was perfect for this pattern, I think. And I LOVED how much the yarn softened up as I soaked it; it was so silky-soft to start out with, I hadn't possibly thought it could get any better!

Mmm. Love it.

There are currently 737 other Damsons on Rav, and I can't believe that number isn't even higher. The pattern was SUCH a quick, easy, and fun knit! The only thing I'll do differently next time (because I WILL be making it again), is I'll BO after the lace panel ends and crochet on that little eyelet edging. It took me 2 hours to knit that edging, and would've been about 20 minutes to crochet it.

(see the fuzz above? Just enough to be squishysoft, not enough to look sloppy)

I love the shoulder-hugging shape; so much, in fact, that now that I have two (Ishbel and Damson) I never wear my other shawls in the traditional way anymore - I always wear those over one shoulder, or like a scarf, now.

Everything about this experience was so wonderful, that I'd LOVE to have the opportunity to test knit again soon. It really is a cool privilege!

Though I've gotta confess, I'm still having a lot of "who me?" feelings. Wait...you think I'm a good knitter? Me? No way. Apparently I'm better at faking it than I thought, because seriously y'all, I am NOT all that.

I think I'm eventually supposed to turn this shawl over to Rachel for her use in displays and whatnot, but not until I wear it several more times and have the chance to get some decent photos! Oh, what a hardship...

PS>I'm going to try and take better pictures of Damson this weekend, when hopefully I'll have a bit more daylight.

PPS> The top in the photos is from Urban Outfitters, and Mom designed the necklace. Isn't it perfect?

PPPS>[Censored]

Spam comment o' the day

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 14:07:59 GMT

Just had to share what my Wordpress blog's spam filter caught this morning...

Why hello associate forum people! I right-minded wanted to set up myself here as this looks like a sheer absorbing forum! I myself am gripping in things like writeing and computer repair so if anyoune needs steal farm out me remember! I also Suffer from Sciatica so if you aslo secure this disease let me know so we can allowance some stretches!

What wonderful news! I have "a sheer absorbing forum" (err..blog?)!

Anyoune (whoever you are), please don't steal from this poor person. He/she seems especially concerned about possession of their farm. Perhaps it has been in the Spammer family for many generations, or perhaps Spammer was speculating on the land and just got a great offer from Bass Pro Shops, who are scouting the location of their next Outdoor World supercenter. (though I suspect that stealing aforementioned farm wouldn't be an especially tricky undertaking. I bet you could just hang a sign out front saying "Anyoune's farm now", and our esteemed spammer would keep on movin'. Honestly, I'm not sure they realized they had a farm in the first place, and I think their claim that "me remember" is dubious at best. This is a golden opportunity for you, Anyoune! Seize it!)

Babelfish has failed you, Spammer. But all is well, for I've had my morning chortle.

PS> Spammer, here's a handy link to some excercises to help your sciatica. Personally, I hope to never "secure" the condition (it's not actually a disease), as "poor typing skills" is apparently a secondary symptom.

KISS

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:07:38 GMT

I'm not a high maintenance type of person. No, really, I'm not. Stop laughing. I appreciate the finer things in life, but where clothes are concerned my idea of "finer things" is a cozy LLBean sweater and some sturdy and comfy cowboy boots. Quality over quantity and all that.

I've shared my affection for 518's in the past, but I realized just how singularly devoted I'd become when I went into the Levi's outlet a couple weeks ago. An employee greeted me with "Hi can I help you find anything today?"

All I had to say was: "518's", and he pointed me in the right direction. I grabbed a couple pairs of size 5'sand a couple pairs of size 7's (I'm right between sizes; since every pair of jeans is slightly different I try to find longish biggish 5's or smallish 7's.), tried them on, and that was that.

Two pairs in hand, I headed to the checkout.

I was in and out of the store in 10 minutes.

This brings my total to seven pairs of 518's, five that are in "wear out of the house" condition and two that probably aren't. I love these jeans. I'm curvy, and the low rise accentuates them in all the right places (with absolutely no muffin top). They're amazingly comfy, and the quality is superb. What's not to love?

As far as jeans are concerned, me and my 518's are NOT high maintenance.

(Let's just not talk about "high maintenance" regarding tops and bras and shawls and shoes, mm'kay?)

Pioneer Woman comes to St. Louis

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 16:05:48 GMT

Last night, Jeff and I (yes, he ended up going with me) had the opportunity to attend a Q&A session and book signing by none other than the Pioneer Woman herself, who was in town promoting her new cookbook (links, just in case you live under a rock and hadn't heard about this before).

Now, while I like the Pioneer Woman well enough (her sesame noodles and cinnamon rolls are to-die-for, though maybe not together , and her photography skills are amazing), you'd never describe me as a 'rabid fangirl' (I guess I got that out of my system in 1997 as a 12-year-old Hanson fan.). I think PW's jokes wear old after a while - "lil' ol' me in my holey yoga pants", "I have cow poop on my porch!", "my boys stole [insert kitchen tool here]" - I roll my eyes by this point, whenever I read those phrases on her blog.

My main peeve, though, is that (as an Amazon reviewer keenly pointed out), nowhere in her new book does PW thank her readers, the same readers who generate her estimated $3,000,000/annual blog revenue. The readers who are the reason she even has a book deal at all. That really irritates me.

THAT SAID, we did attend the signing last night, we did have a pretty OK time, and PW and family were very nice to meet in person.

The event was held at Christ Church Cathedral, downtown just a couple blocks from my office:

It was originally going to be held at the Left Bank Books downtown location, but I guess they caught wind of the anticipated crowd size, and (wisely) moved to a larger venue.

After work I met up with Jeff at Starbucks. Then, appropriately reinforced with caffeine, we headed over.

The event was sponsored by Left Bank Books, a fantastic local bookstore:

(I'm so glad the event wasn't just at your run-of-the-mill Barnes and Noble or whatever! Buy local )

We got there at about 5:45, and the place was still relatively empty-ish:

After everything I'd heard about the other events, though, I suspected it would fill up soon.

We got seats in the 5th row, something that we were ultimately glad about because at book signing time, they released us two rows at a time - we were in the 3rd group to go!

Jeff sportingly waits over an hour in an uncomfortable chair, for a presentation for a blogger who he's not that familiar with and not that interested in:

He's a real trooper, I tell you what.

Though after a while, the wait got to be too much and he resorted to (::gasp::) reading the cookbook!

(The end result was, of course, that he requested a couple of items for me to cook. Any guesses what they were? )

(We'll have to see if that sheet cake is as good as Mom's recipe. And I guess I'll just have to rely on Jeff's opinion of the sandwich, as I'm not a meat eater )

At about 6:15, Ladd (aka Marlboro Man) and the boys showed up, lugging massive trash bags full of free goodies for the audience.

(that younger boy would NOT hold still! I couldn't get a single photo of him!)

I patiently waited, and knitted (shocking, I know!):

In all the time waiting for the event to begin + while Ree talked + waiting in line, I was able to finish the foot of one sock and do the first 2 1/2 repeats of the second sock. I can't imagine how bored I'd have been without something to keep my hands busy...

By about 6:45 the place was PACKED. I think I heard somewhere they had 500 seats out? They brought about maybe 100 more, and then there were still people standing against the walls.

At this point, I realized the true extent of PW's popularity. To put it into my own terms...

If I were to assemble everyone who has visited my site in a MONTH, the crowd would be about twice this size (~1400 maybe?).
500 people in the crowd would be my mom.
200 would be my dad.
100 would be my mother-in-law.
200 would be knitters and blogfriends and other "real" people.
50 would be there on accident.
10 would be Jeff, and only because I said "I blogged about you! Come see!"
340 would be perverts who showed up because that one time I posted a photo of Othello and said "Here's a pussy shot."

And yet, the Pioneer Woman's blog is so powerful that she can draw a crowd this size in ONE EVENING, in ONE CITY, on a miserable drizzly rainy Tuesday night. Whoa.

Finally, just after 7:00, PW showed up. She just talked for a minute or two:

And then they jumped right into the Q&A session. I was a bit disappointed that she didn't read from her book, or share any new anecdotes, ordo something, y'know?

The questions really ran the gamut - from "Please do your Ethel Mermen impression!" to "I like your blog." (hey, that's not a question) to "Do you feed Charlie bones?" (WTF?)

But Ree (who, despite the above photo's appearance, does NOT suffer from gross facial disfiguration) answered all the questions with grace and humor. Even if it was all the same regurtitated, canned responses that have been on her blog a million times already.

After maybe 30 or so questions, the signing began. And that's where I was the most impressed. After already talking to literally thousands of people over the course of her tour, PW still managed to kindly chat with every single person who'd waited in line. She held babies and posed for pictures and accepted gifts and did it all with a smile on her face. I could NOT do that, and I really respect her stamina.

Although, at one point, Jeff whispered to me...

"I wonder if that lady next to her is saying...'remember, thou art mortal. Remember, thou art mortal. Remember, thou art mortal.'"

And I couldn't stifle my giggle.

Even her boys got in on the signing (though they didn't get to me):

They were so cute! And busy!

Marlboro Man was handing out t-shirts, posing for photos and signing autographs:

Finally, it was almost our turn in line:

When I finally got to meet Ree, I oh-so-wittily said (all in one breath) "HiI'maknitterandknittersdothisthingwherewetryandgetcelebritiestotakephotos...

...holdingwhatwe'reknittingwouldyoupleaseholdmysock?"

She didn't bat an eye at this ridiculous request. Just said "But I'm not a celebrity!" And next thing I knew...

(of course that's the dumbest picture of me EVER Ugh.)

AWESOME. My first celebrity sock photo! (But hopefully not the last. I've got my hopes set on Neil Degrasse Tyson. Someday...)

I got out of Ree's way and managed not to fall of the stage. Marlboro Man gave me a t-shirt, and I got a photo with him as well:

And, in the interest of full disclosure, here's my opinion of him:

1)He must really love Ree, to go through all this for her.

2)He didn't seem to be wearing any cologne, nor did he smell like cow poop.

3)He's cute, I guess, but not my type.

I did NOT ask him to hold the sock; even I have limits. Plus, I was tired and ready to go home.

All in all, I had a pretty good time.

I'm not the Pioneer Woman's biggest fan ever, but I really was impressed with her ability to handle a crowd and be so gracious and funny at the same time.

And hey, now I've got a signed cookbook

They say...

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 14:23:00 GMT

..."The cobbler's children have no shoes."

Let's just say...

can't

really

identify

with

that fable.

I'm a lucky girl.

Last minute

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 14:02:44 GMT

I know this is short notice, but would any of my St. Louis area blogfriends be interested in going to the Pioneer Woman book signing (note that it's moved from Left Bank Books TO Christ Church Cathedral) tonight? Jeff has sportingly agreed* to go with me, but I know he'd rather not.

I work downtown (about 2 blocks from the Church, actually!) so if anybody's interested in meeting up before the signing, shoot me an email(katemhoops(atsign)gmail(dot)com) or leave a comment here.

*Jeff also sportingly agrees to stand in the front yard and take 75 photos of my socks, to hang out in yarn shops (even on vacation), and even, occasionally, lets me dictate blog posts to him over the phone. I'd like to cut him a break, just this once.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 19:15:10 GMT

I promised a more comprehensive rundown of the craft show from Saturday 11/7, and here it is. But first, I need to disclaimer - that morning I suffered one of those Blogger's Brain Farts. I took a few pictures at the beginning of our setup, then nothing else for the entire duration.

As I mentioned in my post announcing the show, this one was mainly just for practice - we didn't go into it with high expectations, and we also went in knowing that there were things to change - we didn't have much of an idea for displays (though I've got big plans and ideas for that, now! I think we'll really be improving it soon ), no business cards - still no business NAME, for that matter. So it's not like we signed up for this thing expecting to walk away as millionaires.

(Especially not me, since I don't get paid for my assistance )

It's a good thing we didn't get too invested in it, because the show was *small* and the clientele was all wrong for Mom's designs.

I always say that there are two types of crafters and two types of shows. There's the "2x4's painted like snowmen" crowd (country kitschy crappy), and then there are the artisans. Unique designs, attention to detail, quality materials. Creativity. Workmanship.

Saturday's show was of the "2x4's painted like snowmen" variety. To say the turnout and audience were disappointing would be an understatement. To say we made money would be an overstatement.

To say we had fun? THAT would be an understatement.

One of the benefits of a disappointing craft show is the opportunity to chat with those at nearby booths. That's how Mom and I met Denniely, owner of My Beautiful Bows (website forthcoming) and my new BFF. Mom and I had seven more-or-less uninterrupted hours to chat with her, and to admire her bow clips.

Though they were created to be little girls' hair clips, I found that they make PERFECT shawl pins:

So I bought three - one to go with each shawl in my wardrobe. They can also be clipped onto hats, sweaters, ponytails, and yes - as barrettes. I only wish I had a Hoopling to wear them as well

(I may drag this out into a second post, as well, later this week)

Our across-the-aisle neighbors were the ladies of My Sweet Potatoes, and I've gotta say - as cute as those little stuffed giraffes look in the photos? They're that much cuter in real life. Again with the desire for a Hoopling!

Anyway, I promised a few photos of our booth, as it was last weekend:

Hopefully by next weekend's show (and if not then, DEFINITELY by the December shows), it'll have a whole different look. I'm thinking...black cloth, subtly different levels to set apart the differing jewelry styles, stands/displays which better suit each item, and a little more "oomph" to draw people in. It looks AWESOME in my head, I tell you what. And if I could draw worth a darn, I'd try and sketch it out. But that wouldn't really sell the idea

Mom bought these HUGE gems (paperweights, I think?) and had them scattered about.

The necklace on the left is Mom's, the two on the right were by her "jewelry partner" and friend Peggy.

Mom found these ornament displays somewhere, and repurposed them to hold earrings:

For the next show, we're only going to put Mom's more "glam" earrings on these, and put the vintage- and natural-looking styles on a more fitting display.

I love this china hand, though I'm not sure if it'll fit into our ultimate vision for the display:

Doesn't it look cool with that necklace draped on it, though? Oh and those tiny earrings on black cards in front are Mom's "gnome" earrings - they're sterling silver and tiiiiiiny lampwork beads, and they're the most petite and comfortable earrings I've ever worn. I love them! (and it's worth noting that at $4 a pair, we sold more of these than we did everything else. Combined.)

Finally, the artiste herself, looking not at all psychotic:

(Recognize her shawl?)

As I said, it wasn't a great financial success, but it was a good learning experience and a FANTASTIC time.

This weekend: Oak Park high school craft fair! I *think* I'm going to KC for this one as well.

Hope to see you there!